Yorozuya Gakuen
by Salty-Storm and Trufflemix
Summary: Yorozuya Gakuen. A school for both humans and amantos to learn and cointeract in peace. A pretty good school, if not for the Insanity. But still, this school is home for the learning of both students and teachers. The reason why? Heck, if we know. 2 OCs
1. Don't Join a School Without An Interview

Blah Normal

"Blah" Talking

_Blah _Thinking

(Blah) Us

**Blah **Change of time, place, and POV

**Intro:**

Yorozuya Gakuen. A school for both humans and amantos to learn and cointeract in peace. A pretty good school, if not for the….

_Crash!!_

"Look what you did! You killed a volunteer! You just killed the student-teacher volunteer!"

"C-c-c-c-calm do-do-d-do-down! W-w-w-we just n-need to f-f-f-find a t-t-t-t-ti-ti-t-t-time-time-time time machine! Y-yeah, t-t-t-th-th-that's it! A t-t-t-t-time machine!"

"You're the one who needs to calm down! Idiot! That's a washing machine!"

… Insanity. But nontheless, this school is home for the learning of both students and teachers. The reason why? Heck, if we know.

**Don't Join a New School Without An Interview- The Interview Is Everything!!**

"So, as I was saying. If you mix this strawberry powder into the milk, the powder dissolves which means that the milk is the solvent and the powder is the solute. Not that it really matters since it's going to end up the same in my stomach whether or not it's soluble or not, but since I'm teaching, I have to say these things and everything I say is important."

"Gin-chan! I don't get anything you're saying-aru."

"I already told you! At school, it's Gintoki-sensei!"

"But Gin-chan, you're not teaching right!"

It was science period, and a silver-haired good for nothing man, Kintoki-sensei, was teaching his class about solubility.

"My name's not Kintoki, it's Gintoki! If my name was Kintoki this anime would be the name of a hentai show!"

"Ara? What are you talking about? This is real life, not your show ahahaha..."

"Senseiiiii..." Interrupted a black-haired girl, who was sprawled miserably onto her desk. "I'm huuuuuungry..."

Sensei chose to ignore the girl. Already used to her annoying antics. "Now where's the newbie?" Said the silver-haired teacher, with an exasperated tone in his voice.

"Is she edibleeeee? I'd eat anythiiiiiiiiiiiiiing..."

And then the door slid open and in walked a tall, pale, short haired brunette, looking extremely confused and lost.

"Eto... is this science with... Kintokidoki-sensei?"

The class burst out into a nervous racket once the girl came into view. Several students jumped up to hide under their desks.

"A foreigner! Is she an amanto terrorist? Should I get into defense mode?" Said the formally hungry girl, as she pulled out various kunais and other weapons. Her hunger temporarily forgotten as she pulled out her weapons, the class was getting boring and a good fight was just the perfect thing to keep her entertained and keep her distracted from her wailing stomach.

The brunette whipped around, her green eyes narrowing as her seemingly deadly glare swept across the room toward the anxious girl. "Who said that? I am not one of those amantos." She spat, her voice laced with disgust. "And if I were, what makes you think you could stop me?"

Gintoki eyed both girls with lazy interest. He wanted to stop teaching and just drink the mixture he had just taught the class about...maybe if the girls decided to fight, the class would be distracted just enough so that he could drink it. Heck, they'd probably forget the whole lesson altogether! His line of thought was suddenly interrupted by the black-haired girl suddenly standing up, causing her books to fall to the ground. Only one thought was then in the silver-haired, good-for-nothing man's head: '_Uh oh...' _But he shrugged as he took a discreetly hearty sip of the pink liquid.

"You think you could get past me, foreigner? I bet you-"

"I know I could get past you, want me to prove it?" The brunette taunted, interrupting the other girl's sentence.

The black-haired girl opened her mouth, about to provoke the other girl more right when Gintoki yelled out "CUT IT OUT! Megumi!" He shouted, pointing his finger at the black haired girl. "The school doesn't want to pay for any more damages, after the chains of destructions you've already caused! We don't need you partnering up with the new student to get in more trouble. You're making my head hurt!"

"Yeah, Megu-neechan! Listen to Gin-chan, he pretends to know what he's saying-aru." A pale red-headed girl yelled out, even though the person she was yelling to was sitting right next to her.

Gintoki sighed, he was never going to be able to make her call him Gintoki-sensei, it just wasn't possible. After all, they did live together. (Don't think that way peoples!)

"You, girl at the door!" Gintoki-sensei said. "Are you the new kid?"

The brunette girl turned to Gintoki and looking him in the eye with a sarcastic overtone said "Nope, I'm just Santa making sure everyone is being good. And so far, everyone belongs on the naughty list." The class shifted into uncomfortable laughter, there was still a meanacing air hanging around the girl in question.

"Santa? You're Santa? I thought Santa was a big, fat man in a red suit!" The silver-haired man blinked, not really sure if he was buying it or not. "Well, sorry but, I don't believe in you anymore. I specifically told Santa to buy me a bankai last Christmas, and did Gin-chan get a bankai for Christmas? No! I didn't get anything even remotely like one! So what brought the change, Gramps?"

"I lost weight and had a sex-operation, isn't it obvious?" The brunette retorted. _'Th__is is a ridiculous class. And here I thought I would be challenged. I clearly wasted time and effort moving here. The teacher is obviously an idiot and only wants to drink that strawberry milk sitting on the counter.'_

"Gin-chan! Don't listen to her-aru." The redhead yelped dramatically. "She's a newbie! Smell the newness of her! It smells like a freshly open box of sukonbu! Here, if you take a bite, then it'll probably taste like one!"

"Then can I eat her sensei?" The black haired girl, Megumi asked, with an evident teasing tone to her voice, as she grinned at the the new girl, before remembering that she was her newfound enemy, and momentarily frowned in uncertain...-ness.

_'Oh looks like someone in this classroom has some IQ points, though the amount of said points is definitely in question...'_ The brunette thought to herself. "Ok, I admit it, I'm not Santa, It's Arashigoto Shiori, the transfer student."

"Ah, I see, That makes much more sense. Okay, new-kid introduce yourself to the class then sit down next to eto...Megumi!" Gintoki said with a hint of self-satisfaction after looking around. '_Seating those two next to each other will definitely make this class more fun.'_ he figured, he blinked again. _'Ho__pefully no one gets killed, though. I'm tired of having to think up of more effective ways to clean bloodstains off of the school. Ugh, very messy business.'_

"Hai. _Konnichiwa_. As I already said, I'm Arashigoto Shiori, I just transferred here. All I need to know from you people is who Megumi-san is." the brunette quickly said after standing in front of the room. After she said "Megumi." she turned to Gintoki-sensei with the question showing in her eyes. Gintoki just smirked after her declaration. With a smirk still on his face Gintoki raised his hand and pointed at the previous black-haired girl they both had trouble with earlier.

"That's Megumi. I hope you girls play nice and are able to help each other learn." Gintoki just smiled as he watched the self-satisfaction slip out of Arashigoto.

He found it all hilarious.

--

Megumi just sat there, trying to glare at Gintoki-sensei and that newbie, Arashigoto, at the same time. It was rather difficult and since she couldn't decide who she hated more at the moment she continued to try to glare at the two of them, what was even harder was the fact that they were placed in two opposite directions, thus explaining why she was trying to make her eyes pop out in different directions. Nonetheless, she continued her efforts until a growl slipped out of her stomach, she stopped glaring to rub her stomach in pity. "Senseiiiiiii I'm huuunnnngrrryyyyy, why do I have to sit by the mean new girl anyway? Go sit her in the back with the sadist instead." She said while still rubbing her growling stomach.

A caramel-haired (A/N: Salty-Storm: caramel-colored, not actually caramel...although that would be yummy delicious hair.) boy popped his head up from his desk in the back of the room. "Oi, Bakamono, don't drop off your problems on me. Besides, the new girl should be put by the China girl." Shiori rolled her eyes in exasperation. _'I have a name, you know! I mean, seriously! W__hat a punk! Kinda cute... but a punk nonetheless! Therefore, I hate him!'_

"Who are you calling China-girl, sadist freak- aru?" The redhead snarled.

"Obviously you, China-girl." The boy calmly replied. No one in the class was really suprised by this outburst, it happened on almost a daily basis, those two fighting. The only one suprised by the sudden clamor was the new girl, Arashigoto Shiori, who was seemingly forgotten.

She then realized that she wasn't as forgotten as she thought when Gintoki-sensei suddenly burst out, making the class go (for the most part) silent "Kagura, sit back down, Sougo-kun, stop trying to fall asleep and stop provoking Kagura. And Megumi... Stop trying to get Kagura and Sougo fighting to make us forget about putting Arashigoto-san by you. In fact, stop causing trouble! Period!"

Megumi grinned again. "Sorry sensei! You know I can't help it!" Shiori could tell that she was a cheerful person with that smile, but she just shrugged, not wanting to really know more about the girl further than that.

The redhead got off of her desk '_So that's Kagura.' _Shiori put the name and face together in her mind so she would remember, and the boy in the back simply mumbled. "I wouldn't be falling asleep if this class wasn't so boring..." '_Hmm Sougo...Nice name...and face.' _She smiled at the second thought but the smile was quickly smothered as she felt Gintoki-sensei's eyes on the back of her head.

Shiori slowly turned, like prey caught in the eyes of a predator, wondering if it could get away in time. "Arashigoto-san, please take a seat between Megumi and Shinpachi." Gintoki-sensei said with a slight smile on his face.

"Hai, Gintoki-sensei." Shiori sighed, hung her head and slowly trudged to the open seat between one girl who she'd already made enemies with and a boy that she was pretty sure was the other's friend. '_This is going to be a hard day...if not life. Why is the Demon-Lord doing this to me?' _Right when Shiori sat down, much to her luck, the bell rang. The whole class collectively sighed in relief, it was passing time and they wouldn't get blamed for Megumi and the new girl's possible fight.

Right as everyone stood to leave, the door slid open. A few people groaned, what else would the universe throw at them? The person who stepped inside was a suprise to most of the people in the class. It was the Kendo and History teacher, who was also a fight monitor, Hijikata Toshiro-sensei.

Shiori could only stare at this new guest. She had a good reason, after all, Hijikata Toshiro is a rather popular teacher. After looking around, his eyes wandered over to the corner where she was sitting at. _'Is he looking at me? What did I do to him?' _She wondered, but shrugged.

Some seconds after he walked in, there was the sound of a small explosion as a bazooka was fired in Hijikata's general direction. He quickly dived out of the way and the tragectory went through the open door and exploded against the wall above some unsuspecting 1st years heads.

"How many times do we have to tell you no bazookas at school Sougo-kun?" Gintoki-sensei asked.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Hijikata must be shot for his own protection?" Sougo replied, aiming the objectile at the chain-smoker once more.

"Everyone may leave except for those two girls." The chain-smoker, Hijikata, announced, while pointing to Megumi and Shiori. "That means that you leave Sougo and stop aiming at me".

Megumi gave a cry of distaste, as she abruptly stood up from her sitting position. "What? Why? I didn't do anything yet! I'm going to be late for my next class! It's math with Hasegawa-sensei! I have to make sure he doesn't suicide again!"

Hijikata turned around to give her a look that plainly said _'So what?_', he lit a cigarette, ignoring Megumi's protest about secondhand smoke, and said, "I'll give you both a pass so you two stay and listen. Now for the rest of you? Get out."

Once the majority of the class had filed out, and rather quickly, he turned to Gintoki. "Why were those two fighting? Can't you do anything right?" Hijikata lightly accused. Their words of who was better at fighting entrigued him. Megumi was a strong fighter in various ways, after all, she was training 'discreetly' under two well-known ninjas. But sword-fighting and kendo didn't belong in her list of strengths. If this new girl was good at any type of fighting, then it would be a fight worth seeing. He quickly made himself stop thinking of fighting and made himself turn back to the problem at hand, why they were fighting.

"Words were said and they can't seem to get along." Gintoki answered, after it was obvious that Hijikata was paying attention once again.

"Well there's only one way to solve this problem." Hijikata smugly said. "Megumi can be, ah, what's your name?"

"Arashigoto Shiori desu." Shiori said uncomfortably. He may be extremely hot, but she knew that he wasn't trustworthy at the moment. His smug additude worried her the most. She had only known him for a few moments but she could tell he was up to something.

"I'm Hijikata Toshiro, the Kendo and History teacher. Anyways as I was saying, Megumi can be Arashigoto-san's guide until they are friends in my view."

"WHAT?!" Both girls exploded at the same time. Both teachers immediately thought that their eardrums had burst, the noise those two could make would scare any man.

"Both of you heard the Mayo, Megumi, You will be Shiori-san's guide until Mayo-sensei sees that it is unneccesary." Gintoki was worried after saying these words. The murderous look that passed between the girls was no longer so much focused on each other but on the two men that had forced them to be together. He wanted to run for the hills with his strawberry milk and live happily ever after with no more murderous teenage girls. They didn't necessarily frighten him, after all, he was called '_Shiroyasha' _back then for a reason. He just really wanted his strawberry milk, and to be away from the muderous teenage girls... but the strawberry milk was the real reason. All the milk.

"Alright, you're dismissed."

The girls made no attempt to move, as they continued glaring at the two teacher's.

"Hey! I said you're dismissed! Now shoo! Shoo!"

**--Math, Next Period--**

"What are you trying to pull, foreigner!?"

"Me? What about you, you idiot of a human? You got a math problem wrong, and I corrected you! Fool!"

This was what could be heard in the hall near the location of Hasegawa's math class.

"Now, now, girls! No need to cause a ruckus!" Hasegawa, the math teacher stuttered, desperately trying to quell the situation. "U-um, well, Shiori isn't a foreigner, and Megumi-chan is definitely not an idiot of a human or a fool! You guys are partners!"

"But she is a foreigner-terrorist!" Megumi protested with fire blazing in her eyes.

"And she is an idiot of a human fool, you Madao!" Shiori added, equally as enraged as the girl she was arguing with.

"Why does everyone call me that?" Hasegawa sighed, stepping onto a stool that stood behind a readily prepared rope. "This time, it's too much, I must give up..."

Megumi's eyes popped out. "Sensei! Not again!" And she whipped out a kunai and threw it at the rope that was encircling his neck, narrowly missing the top of his head.

"_Sigh! _I was so close this time too." Said the sunglasses wearing teacher.

"This school's seriously messed up. I shouldn't have come, I shouldn't have come, I shouldn't have come..." Was heard from the new girl, as she muttered her curses.

**--Home Economics--**

Situation repeats. Nothing more to say, except there was some mild threatening with burnt food. Tamagoyaki.

**--Health--**

Situation repeats. But more graphically verbal.

**--Language Arts--**

Deja vu once more, this time with a home economics-teacher-stalking-gorilla.

**--Lunch--**

Attempted food fight, resistance was quelched quickly through the use of restraints.  
Then both returned to their next class late after more threatening from both teachers and the other girl.

**--Music and Fine Arts--**

Since the girls were FINALLY separated, all was calm...with the two of them.  
Megumi had Music and Shiori had luckily chosen Fine Arts as her special class.

**--P.E.--**

Luckily there were no weapons in this class...Sadly there was dodgeball, it was a rather busy day for the school nurse. Of course not including Megumi or Shiori. But the teacher got to see the nurse instead.

**--History-- (A/N: scary music. Dun dun DUUUUN!!)**

"You idiot! You don't even know what you're talking about!!"

"Well maybe because I'm not from here, ever think about that idiot?!"

"Then you shouldn't of said anything!" Megumi screeched back. This new girl was infuriating in so many ways. She just didn't know when to shut her mouth.

"You started it, you idiot of a human!"

"That insult doesn't even make any sense!"

"Oh, real mature comeback."

"It wasn't even a comeback!"

"Sure it was, you said it back to me didn't you?" Shiori slyly replied. Megumi was rather fun to annoy, even if she was brash and annoying sometimes.

"Oh, like you know everything! Seriously! Why can't you keep your comments to yourself! Like I want to hear everything you have to say!"

"Like everyone wants to hear what you have to say!" The brunette shot back with minimal effort.

"Well, most of the time I'm not talking to you! You just keep butting in!"

"Learn how to listen to your own advice." The brunette taunted.

"Well that's kinda hard since you never talk, except when you're insulting me!"

Just as Shiori was about to retort to this comment, Hijikata came inside the room.

(A/N: Dun dun DUNNER!!)

Hijikata raised his eyebrow, as he stared at the girls. They stared right back, they were wondering what he was going to do when he caught them fighting again, not that they really cared or anything, they liked fighting with each other too much. They just wanted to know if the punishment was going to be as troublesome as the first one.

_'What the hell is he doing here...is he stalking us?' _Shiori was asking in her mind over and over (AN2: Paranoia). But it appears that Hijikata had strong telepathic powers for he raised the other eyebrow so that both were hiding behind his black bangs.

"I teach this class, remember?" Hijikata stated, answering her unsaid question.

"DUDE!! SOOOOO not cool! Stay out of my mind! I forgot, that's all!" Shiori shot back, panicked that he had somehow overheard her internal dialouge. She briefly wondered if he had read her 'other' private thoughts.

"What are you talking about foreigner?" Megumi giggled.

"You're in no position to say this, Baka." Sougo yawned as he lazily sat up, momentarily forgetting to shoot at the mayonnaise-obsessed teacher "That's what you always say, word for word. I'm surprised it's not you saying it this time."

"Oh, shut up you conversation-butter-inner! Just who's side are you on! And stop calling me that, you sadist-freak!" Megumi pouted, feeling very betrayed by her sadistic, but still cool, best friend. Her wounded mood was soon forgotten by Shiori's next comment.

"Hey!! Don't group me in with her!" Shiori protested, suddenly popping back into the conversation.

"What'd you say foreigner!!"

"You heard what I said... Baaaaaakaaaaaa!"

"Get in your seats class." Hijikata calmly ordered, FINALLY speaking up. "I've just now decided what our project for this week will be." Just then Hijikata looked pointedly at Shiori then Megumi, and then back at Shiori. "We'll have partners... That I am assigning."

The whole class groaned. Shiori looked over at Megumi, for she knew that this assignment was her fault. Megumi gave an agitated sigh, slumped into her seat and put her headphones in her ears, nodding her head to the music.

_'Guess she knows too.' _Shiori figured. She blinked. '_Damn, I forgot my music player at home today! CRAP!... hmm, I wonder what she's listening to...'_

After Hijikata finished assigning the duos for his class, he explained what the actual project was about. "For this assignment you must interview two people who lived through the Joi War. Ask them about their experience, and their opinions on it. Now discuss."

Megumi looked up just as Shiori walked over. She took out an earpiece and gave a sheepish look towards the brunette in question. "What are we supposed to do? I wasn't really listening..."

Shiori gave her a look. "I can see that." Earning a grin from the ebony-haired girl. Shiori chuckled, both forgetting their rivalry for the moment as she explained their task.

Megumi had a thoughtful look on her face. "Hey, you can come over to my house after school if you want. Since we kinda need to work together, you know. Just don't burn the place down."

Shiori shrugged. "Sure. Just let me call my parents about it for a minute." She told her. Megumi gave a sort of nod in acknowledgment as she stuck her earphones back into her ear, nodding to the music once more.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

**A/N: There are two of us!! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA FEEL OUR EVIL WRATH!!**

**So Trufflemix will be _this; italic bold  
_And I (Salty Storm) will be regular bold!**

**_Nya ha ha, I'm the fancier word!! LOSER!!_**

**_Well, anyways, we should sooo translate the Japanese words that we said in the story  
_Trufflemix doesn't always know what she's saying; sorry!!**

**_Poor Stormy. Poor, poor, delusional Stormy.._**

**anywhom--**

**Gakuen - School  
Kin - Gold (Figure out why it's a hentai name on your own!)  
Hentai - pervert/perverted  
tokidoki - Sometimes  
eto - umm  
hai - yes (though you should probably know this already)  
****Konnichiwa - good afternoon/hello (Shiori probably should have said Ohayoo Gozaimasu--good morning, but she's a foreigner...)  
Baka - stupid/ fool  
bakemono - monster/beast (so Sougo mixed the two words together, to create the pet name for Megumi)  
bakamono - foolish or stupid monster (we just made it up...so don't take it too seriously!)  
Madao - (roughly) totally useless middle-aged man (First letter of each word in japanese, an acronym)  
****-aru - Kagura's chinese accent**

Name Meanings for fun...Not entirely sure, could be wrong so don't HATE US!!

Arashigoto Shiori  
Arashi - storm  
goto - thief/ burglar  
Shiori - poetry or weaving or purple or salt or sea waves

Sengoku Megumi  
Sen - fight or thousand  
Goku - ultimate or best  
Megumi - Blessing

**  
Any comments or questions or requests are welcome...reviewing also helps --hint hint--**


	2. Fights Spare Us From 3 Evils

**Disclaimer:** (So stereotypical!) We (sadly) don't own Gintama or any of it's characters. If we did... Salty-storm would have much more fun in her free time :evil twinkle in eye:. We do own Shiori and Megumi though. And the plot... Even though it's pretty much nonexistant at this point in time.

**RECAP:** Hijikata assigned a project to interview 2 Joui War survivors. Shiori and Megumi have once again been forced together by the mayonnaise-obsessed chain-smoker.

Blah Normal

"Blah" Talking

_Blah _Thinking

(Blah) Us

**Blah **Change of time, place, and POV

**A Fight Spares Us From 3 Evils; Work, Boredom, and Irksome People.**

**--At Megumi's house--**

The two were outside Megumi's front door. Megumi was squirming under Shiori's gaze when she paused from jiggling her keys in the lock. She finally turned around and said. "Whatever you do, don't laugh. I mean, just, yeah. Okay? I wasn't expecting guests and all."

Shiori nodded, not really paying attention to the (surprisingly) nervous girl as she looked around at her surroundings. Her partner's apartment was next to some police headquarters or something. _'Does she really get into _that _much trouble, now?'_

Once they finally stepped inside, Megumi picked up the various objects that were lying around the place. "Come on in, it's kinda small, but oh well."

"I'm only here to study, I don't think the size really matters." Shiori stated, finding her enemy's nervousness unexpected and very out of character.

"Yeah, of course. I knew that, but just in case, you know?" Megumi said, feeling defensive. "You know what? Forget it, let's just get to work."

Shiori shrugged. "Alright, we'll research first, and afterwards we can decide who to interview."

**--An hour later--**

After writing down a countless number of notes, Shiori stood up from her laying position on the floor and stretched. "Hey, I'm getting kinda hungry. Do you have anything to eat?"

Megumi didn't look up, still finding more to write about. "Uhh, just go to the fridge. I think there might be something to munch on."

Shiori strolled into the kitchen and pulled open the fridge door. Once she opened the door she wrinkled her nose in disgust. It was full of junk food, she also had this crawling suspicion that the majority of the items were past expiration date.

She leaned down and picked up a small carton of milk and took a whiff of it. She instantly recoiled from the putrid scent.

"What the hell is this, Cursed-one?" She asked accusingly, throwing the carton into the trash can.

"Uhh, milk?"

"That wasn't milk! It was MOVING. Milk does not MOVE." She continued to throw out various items into the now overflowing trashcan. "What do you even eat! No wonder you're not fat! Nothing in here is even remotely edible!"

"What the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks are you doing?! That's my food! My precious food!"

"_That _was not food! Food is not those colors without food dye! Food is edible! Even if there was food dye, IT WOULDN'T BE THAT COLOR!!"

"Don't criticize me! I didn't invite you here just to throw my belongings away!"

"It's for your own good!"

She finally snapped. "If you want to throw away food, go home and do it! In fact, go home anyway!" Megumi screamed, flaring up at Shiori. They're semi-friendship was now in ruins. "Get out! Stop throwing my food away!"

"You know what? Fine, I tried to be nice, but NOOO you just couldn't have it. So I'll leave!" Shiori yelled right back, as she was running to the door while gathering her belongings up. Hijikata-sensei's plan just wasn't going to work.

Megumi followed Shiori to the door and right as Shiori stepped over the threshold, Megumi slammed the door. Shiori fell forward as the door hit her legs and butt.

"OWWWW. That was unnecessary!" She screamed. Then she just stormed off walking right past the police headquarters, not even noticing when a man with black hair called her name.

-- -- -- -- -- --

Hijikata turned as he heard a young woman yelp in pain. He turned and headed towards the direction of the sound, expecting to find a woman in danger, but what he found instead was the new student, Shiori, yelling at Megumi's door (A/N: they're neighbors, it's not weird that he knows where she lives, guys!). He called her name when she turned and stormed off. She didn't even stop to acknowledge that she had even heard him.

'_I'm going to have to talk to them at school tomorrow, aren't I?'_ he sighed. Then hearing a small explosion, he dived to the left. Sougo always aimed to the right with his trademark bazooka. Sougo looked up from his position, his eyes looking towards Megumi's direction. "Eh? What just happened with Bakamono and the new girl?"

Hijikata shrugged and pushed himself off the ground, not really feeling like telling the brat what he knew. "I don't really know."

Sougo had a thoughtful look on his face. "I'll go talk to her right now. This place is too depressing anyways." And he leaped off the roof and walked towards his black-haired friend's house. "Ja ne, Hijikata, you bastard."

"Somehow that really irritates me."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

**School, A few days later: First period**

Science with Kintoki-sensei was going to be very interesting today, they were learning about weather, and his logic was mixing with whatever he was currently thinking, causing mass confusion among the students.

"... And so, when the dead people in the sky are sad their tears turn into rain, unless their really mad. Then it's their piss. And it's thanks to that piss that we have strawberries to make strawberry milk." Gintoki concluded. "So in reality, our golden water is really a blessing and we must therefore use it to hydrate and make more strawberry milk."

Shiori raised her hand "Ano... That's not what they said at my old school." She said unsurely.

Gintoki sighed. "Everything they teach at other schools is wrong!! Everyone lies about the weather, they don't want you to know the truth, the only people who don't lie are people like Ketsuno Ana!"

_'Hmm... I still think he doesn't know what he's talking about and do all our lessons have to deal with strawberry milk?'_ Shiori thought. 'H_mm.. I wonder where the Cursed-one is... Maybe that Sougo knows. I should ask him, but I don't really know him. Oh, the hell with that. I'll ask anyways.'_

Shiori was so caught up in her own thoughts she didn't even realize that Kagura was crouching on top of her desk, Kagura's face inches away from her own. Shiori jumped back in alarm, falling out of her seat in the process.

"What the hell?!" Shiori screamed. "What is that for?! What is wrong with you?"

"The class is over- aru." She informed, while taking off her swirly otaku glasses. "Did you make Megumi-nee cry- aru? Cause she says she has a stomach ache, but she lies a lot so I think she's just skipping school."

Shiori did a double-take. "What? _Cry?! _No! She told me to leave, and I did. That's all." She scrutinized the younger girl, she was told that the Yato girl had skipped grades and was actually about two years younger than she was. "Why are you taking off those glasses? Can you even see through those?"

The redhead shrugged, as she opened a fresh pack of sukonbu. "Not really. I just wore them cause I read in a magazine that it was the new fad, but I don't really see anyone else wearing them-aru."

"And this magazine was called...?"

"Ah, it's one of Gin-chan's! I think it's called Akamaru Jump- aru."

Shiori burst out laughing, although she was a foreigner, even she could tell the difference between a fashion magazine and a manga book.

But the other girl already leaped off the desk, knowing that she probably wouldn't get any more info out of the new girl. Plus, Sougo had offered another challenge to the China girl.

Shiori stopped laughing and stood up. She then realized that she was actually missing that girl, the Cursed-one. For when she was there Shiori actually had something to do, and someone to talk to. It was actually somewhat fun. But now that she was gone, Shiori was a loner once again. When she realized her realization, she got pissed and felt an intense need to beat something (or rather someone) up.

The whole day passed by in a haze for Shiori, she didn't pay attention in any of her classes and even ignored random students egging her on, trying to pick a fight with her. When the last bell rang, Hijikata approached her.

"Arashigoto, I know what happened with you and Megumi." He said.

"Oh, do you now? So you know that after I helped her she kicked me out of her house?"

"Arashigoto, don't do anything stupid. She's nice, but sensitive." He warned. "Stay after school and work on your project. You shouldn't go around picking a fight with someone who is one of the best fighters in the school."

Shiori felt her blood boil at his comment, but she said nothing and continued on her way to Megumi's house. _'Sengoku Megumi. Just watch out.'_

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Sougo was in the process of fighting with Kagura once more. She was pretty fun to annoy, unlike other girls... except Megumi, but since Megumi wasn't here he decided to stick with his number one choice: The China Girl. As he was fighting, he thought back to Megumi's issue yesterday.

_--FLASHBACK: Yesterday--_

_Sougo stood in front of room 777. The door was locked and Megumi wasn't answering._ 'What's her problem this time?' _He sighed and banged on the door once more. This time he faintly heard a small moan coming from within the apartment. He took a step back and flew into the door, forcing the door to slam open. At first he didn't see his friend, but then heard retching sounds coming from the bathroom. He calmly walked to the bathroom, and when he got there he found the sight he had predicited- Megumi was hugging the bowl of the toilet and throwing up into it. Sougo walked over and pulled her hair back from her sweaty face as she continued to empty the contents of her stomach. He just waited until the worst of it was over, when she sat up he finally asked. _"What did you do?"_.  
_

_She laughed bitterly. _"I was an idiot, that's all. Nothing new." _She moaned again, but continued. "_I just had an arguement with the new girl. I hate to admit it but she was right."_ She leaned over the toilet bowl once more, and after a few dry heaves she sat back up. "_She told me my food was all rotten and started to throw it out..."

"She shouldn't of done that to one that's so obsessed with her food."_ Sougo added. Not feeling particularly sympathetic because he had told her many times before to throw out her food in the same manner._

_"_Because I was so upset, I took a bite out of a some old cake that I found in my fridge. You know, just to spite her and all... and I guess that it came and bit me right back."

"I see... So... do you think you're done heaving up your guts?" _Sougo slowly asked._

_"_I should be..." _At her reply_ _Sougo stood up, then grabbed Megumi by the arm and pulled her up after him. They walked into the kitchen and he got her a glass of water. Then he proceeded to throw away the remaining food that Shiori had missed._

_"_Don't throw away my food!" _Megumi yelped, taking a dizzy step in his direction, almost instantly falling back to the ground onto her knees. Sougo just shrugged and continued to empty out her fridge. When he was done he made Megumi lay down on a freshly laid out futon so that she would (hopefully) fall asleep, and went to fix the door he had previously slammed open._

_Once the door was fixed he went into the kitchen and threw away all the garbage from the fridge, knowing full well that she probably would've just dug through the trash, repeating all that had just happened. After he was done with that he checked on her and found her half-delirious._

_"--moan-- _and I was so mean to her too... Now I have to apologize to her... I just wanted to be friends with her... --_moan--" Sougo just shook his head. _

_'S_he's obviously delirious, otherwise she would've never admitted it, even to me.'

"Don't you hate her?" _He asked, even though he was pretty sure he already knew the answer._

_Megumi weakly shook her head._ "The same thing happened when we first met, remember. We were what, six and seven? Why am I always friends with sadists with brown hair?"_ She laughed weakly."_You're sister was the only one who could stop us."

"..."

_Megumi bit her lip._ "I'm sorry."

_Sougo shrugged. Choosing not to bring up the passing of his beloved sister. "_ I guess you have bad tastes in friends." _He suggested. Sougo then turned away and right before he walked out the door he turned back to Megumi. "_Get better Bakamono. Everyone at school is going to miss you."

--END FLASHBACK--

Sougo snapped back right before Kagura raised her umbrella, and dived out of the way. The umbrella barely missed his head, and in retaliation he raised his bazooka (A/N: I want to know where he hides that thing! A/N2: It's like a pokeball! You press a button and it gets bigger, you press again and BOOM!) and shot. After the smoke from the explosion cleared, the China Girl was no where to be seen. The young sadist looked uncharacteristically confused for a moment. '_How was she taken out so easily? I thought she could've dodged quicker.'_ He sighed. Very disappointed. When he finished his line of thought he saw the new girl walk past. She looked mad, actually mad was an understatement, she looked like she would've killed anyone in her path. At that moment Sougo thought '_Hmm, maybe she'll be good to fight with, now that Megumi is sick and Kagura... is... where is she? Dead?'_

Shiori walked past Sougo, it wasn't that fast of a run (A/N: more like a speedwalk. A/N2: she probably trots like my grandma :waves hands in random motions while strutting around the place:) but you could tell she knew where she was going. The menace rolling off her with some determination mixed in could also be a clue... But some people just don't know when to not piss someone off.

Luckily there was no one like that in Shiori's general vicinity. She pushed past Sougo, without realizing who it was really, and walked through the ashes.

Sougo blinked as the girl's silhoutte continued to get smaller and smaller into the distance. _'Why do I have a feeling Megumi's going to get into trouble again? She's still sick so...' _His thoughts were cut off when a a stream of bullets made there way towards him. He jumped back just in time to see a red blur jump in front of him, he barely blocked a kick at his side. The blur, Kagura, snickered. "Oh good, you dodged that. I was afraid that you really were a weak!"

Sougo smirked at the redhead. Megumi was just going to have to wait.

-- -- -- -- --

Shiori walked past the police headquarters, her anger and frustration growing at each step. Hijikata-sensei's comment echoed in her head. _'You shouldn't go around picking a fight with someone who is one of the best fighters in the school.' _A low growl slipped through her lips, she wasn't the calm, collected girl that she seemed to be at school anymore._ 'Best fighter in school? Right. He hasn't even seen what I can do.'_ Shiori was hurt, angry and really felt like punching someone, but she just pushed all the boiling rage down a little more. '_I just have to contain it until I get to Megumi's... Then I can let it all out'_.

Megumi lay sprawled out on the floor. She'd been in that position all day, reading Jump. She was really addicted to it, she'd gotten into a couple fights over it, even. Right when she was getting to the best part, she heard the door crash open.'_Two times already this week... That door is going to break sooner or later, probably sooner. Dang. -.-;;'._

"MEGUMI!! Fight me!" Shiori practically screamed as she burst through the door, She couldn't hold her anger in anymore. She just blew up at the black-haired girl. "I am so done with people telling me to be careful, Fight me Megumi!"

'_At least my Neighbors aren't home... If they heard yelling again they'd just yell over to the station next door. Definitely don't need the Gorilla in here like a mother hen again.' _Megumi silently was thankful to whatever benevolent force kept her neighbors away. If they did fight, it'd probably be over quick, but loudly.

... Fight?

She blinked. "Wait... What?" She asked, definitely confused. _'Did I overdose on my medication again? I'm pretty sure I drank two bottles like it said in the directions- no wait, or was it two cups...?' _She looked up at the flushed brunette once more and she knew what had happened. "Okay, I'm sorry, but you need to get out of my dream now, foreigner. I'm pretty sure that you'd never be like 'Grr! Angry! Fight me!' And since I'm not in the mood for sleeping, I think I should wake up now."

The other girl simply glared, feeling a tad bit calm, but not really. "You heard me, Sengoku! I said fight me! Don't pretend like this is a dream to get out of it!"

"Ah, but this is a dream... Maybe if I pinch myself I'll wake up. It seems to work on TV" :_pinch:_ "OWWW." Her squeal of pain echoed around the small apartment. "Ah-ha! I probably only _thought_ I pinched myself. Maybe I should do it harder. Here, let me try again... Ohh OWWIE!!"

'_So she is insane... Or she's acting so she doesn't have to fight me. What? Does she think she's being nice and going to go easy on me??' _Shiori's thinking was all over the place, she had totally forgotten Megumi until the girl stood up and said the words Shiori had wanted her to say...

"Okay, I'll fight you... But I don't really want to, you know, I don't want to hurt you."

... Or not. Shiori's anger spiked again, Megumi was really pissing her off.

"Oh save me the talk. I seriously can't wait to beat you up." Shiori grinned. Cracking her knuckles several times to make a point.

"Ugh. That's gross, don't do that!" The other girl shuddered, and bit her tongue to keep the rest of her complaints silent.

"What? This?" _Crackle crick crack crackle pop!_

Megumi made a face as she wriggled in disgust. "EWW! Stop it! That's DISGUSTING!"

Shiori's lips twitched upward as she continued to irk the black-haired female. Her anger was beginning to evaporate. _'Hehe, this is too much fun. Just a little bit more and my anger should dissipate.'_

After a few more dry pops, the girl finally snapped. "All right! You either stop doing that or you leave! So if you aren't going to stop then get the -_beep- _out of here, you sick beast woman!"

_Scowl. _"Fine! Sheesh, make such a big fuss about something as little as cracking a few bones. I don't see how they think you're the best fighter in school." Megumi said nothing as she followed the girl to an empty courtyard.

Once outside, Shiori rolled her shoulders back and got in a relaxed fighting stance, she was ready to fight. Megumi sighed, still feeling reluctant as she got into her defense position. "So are you really sure you want this?" She asked again, as she waited for the other to make the first move.

The brunette gave a menacing smile. "Definitely. Now stop asking and let me start." And with a nod from the other, Shiori gave a dash towards the black-haired girl as she pulled out a katana. (A/N: out of nowhere! Like Sougo).

Megumi paused for a moment when she saw Shiori pull out the katana. '_Definitely wasn't expecting that, is it for show?'_ She then took a small sidestep to the left and back some. Not enough that the untrained eye could see, but just enough that Shiori would think that she missed Megumi because she miscalculated the distance. Megumi closed her eyes for a split second longer than a normal blink and right before she opened them her eyes slammed open and her breath exploded out of her as she flew backwards.

'_How did she hit me? I stepped back! She didn't see that... It was all luck, It has to be!'_ Megumi argued with her inner self as she brushed her pants off and stood up. Shiori was standing in the space she had occupied with a bored look on her face and the katana still in it's sheath. '_She's bored? Ha! Likely story, it's just an act. I wish she would just give up! I really don't like hurting friends... Even if they are sadists that pull weapons out of nowhere... Funny how there's so many of them...' _Megumi stood then started to slowly walk towards Shiori.

"You still don't want to fight me? Do you really think you're doing me a favor? I came here to fight you. If you kick my ass- though I doubt you will, I would've deserved it and I wouldn't retaliate." Shiori said with frustration and anger lacing her words. '_Not until I could beat you.'_ She silently added. "Come at me. Attack me, show me the fighter people are warning me away from." Shiori was just taunting Megumi now. She really wanted to get a rise out of the black-haired girl.

Megumi cocked her head to the left, this new girl had a temper. '_What a surprise. I sure didn't expect the new girl to be all "GRR! FIGHT ME! RAWR!" This day's just getting weirder and weirder.'_ She then bent down and picked up various items from the ground, items that Shiori couldn't see. She then flicked...

a crumpled-up candy wrapper.

The wrapper bounced off Shiori's arm. The girl blinked then gave Megumi her deadliest glare, she wouldn't have even felt it if she hadn't of seen it beforehand. 'D_ude, the hell?'_

_"_Didn't we come out here to fight?"

Megumi shrugged. "Nah, that's just you."

Shiori growled as a series of veins popped out on the back of her head. This was getting no where. "Fight me seriously, you cursed-one!"

Megumi had resorted to an all-out teasing, she wasn't being even remotely serious. "Nyah, I dun wanna." She stuck out her tongue as she threw a twig at Shiori. It nicked the other girl on the thigh, giving Megumi an idea.

"Woo hoo! 20 points! 40 if I get the belly-button!" _Ploop. _"BAM BABY! Fourty points, baby!"

'_This is getting ridiculous!' "_ I SAID FIGHT ME!!" Shiori bellowed. _Pop._ She blinked as a pebble hit her in the middle of her forehead.

"That's 100 right there! WHOOO!!" Megumi did a little spin.

Shiori glared, trying desperately to keep her voice calm, as tears overflowed her eyes. "I'm being serious. I really want to fight."

Megumi's laughter began to fade as she scrutinized the girl more carefully. _'Is she CRYING? There's no way she could possibly be crying!' _She sighed, feeling guilt overtake her as she let out a heavy sigh. "Fine. Let's fight then. I'll even be serious if you provoke me enough, I guess."

Shiori nodded, hiding a tiny snicker as she fell back into her fighting stance. _'Bwa ha ha, I must say, fake crying does happen a few advantages to a people-pleasing person like her!'_

Once Megumi got into a low fighting stance, Shiori sprinted forward, pulling her katana up across her chest.

'_She says she wants to fight, then she cries, but she still hasn't unsheathed her katana? She needs to unmix her messages.' _She yawned. "Are you sure this is okay? I mean, we use completely different fighting styles."

She nodded, swiping her covered katana at the girl, hitting nothing but air as the girl disappeared into thin air. "What makes you so sure of that?" She asked, looking around for the girl in question.

"Well," She heard. "Since you have a katana, that means you're learning the ways of a samurai and since I'm not so good with swords..."

Shiori's eyes widened slightly, but she kept her bored expression. "Then you're a ninja?"

She heard a yawn from her left. "I guess, only for seventeen years."

Shiori gave an agitated groan. "Can you please stop hiding? I can't really fight you when you're not actually serious."

Suddenly, a cannonade of shuriken flew from all directions towards Shiori. She gave a jolt and jumped out of the way and into safety zone as she heard the countless thuds when the weapons hit the ground where she was standing.

Shiori winced as she felt pain erupt from her left shoulder area. She checked her back to see a few ninja stars embedded along her arm. She grinned. _'Huh, guess she does have a few tricks up her sleeves!'_

Megumi sighed, and finally reappeared a bit away from Shiori as she gave the girl a look. "So are you sure you want to continue, Arashigoto? I mean, you already got hurt..."

"You think I'd stop that easily, Sengoku?" She smirked, she dashed torwards Megumi as the other girl started swaying. '_She may have some tricks, but so do I.'_

_'Ugh, maybe I didn't take enough medicine. I still feel dizzy. Man, it must've said three bottles then!'_ Megumi thought as she started to sway even more. She closed her eyes to try to regain her balance when she heard a swish, like a sword being unsheathed. _'I think that was me. No one has a sword!' S_he opened her eyes and saw Shiori with a half-smile on her face that was slowly fading away.

"I thought you were a good fighter. Why didn't you dodge that?" Shiori questioned. From what she had seen she hadn't thought a move like that would've worked.

"Dodge what?" Megumi answered her own question when she felt a warm liquid running down her hip. She looked down

"AHHHHHHH WHAT WAS THAT??" Megumi screamed. She had a shallow cut across her lower abdomen. "Did you seriously cut me?"

"You were relaxing! I thought you would actually fight, you said you would!"

"I was not, I didn't take enough medicine. It said three bottles and I only took two!"

"You're only supposed to take one spponful, one SPOONFUL!! No wonder you suck so bad! You're ODing!"

"What'd you say?!"

"OD... You know. Overdose? You druggie!" Shiori snapped. The Cursed-one was so annoying. First she wouldn't fight, then she said she would, now she's ODing. "Besides, it's payback for my arm. I rather like it whole, with NO ninja stars embedded in it." For emphasis she reached back with her sword arm, pulled out one of the stars, and threw it a foot away from Megumi's foot.

"Wait a sec, I like my foot not being embedded with those!" Megumi huffed, yelling to the huge gap to Shiori's right..

_'I'm right here, Dizzy.' _Shiori smirked. "I may not be a ninja but I can still throw those things and not hit your foot," Megumi let out the breath she hadn't known she was holding. "Unless I wanted to." Shiori finished.

_'Just from the way she throws, you could tell she sucks.'_ Megumi rolled her eyes. "Well, as long as you're _modest." _She replied, feeling nauseated from something other than medication.

"Oh, shut up. Stop trying to change the subject and fight! You truly are a curse!"

"Okeedokee Shi-chan!"

Shiori paused and gave the girl a raised eyebrow. "Shi-chan?"

Megumi nodded, still talking the the Shiori who was on the right of Shiori. "It's part of your name! And plus, Shi means piss in Korean! Isn't that cool! And since Ori means duck, your name is Pissduck! Bwa ha ha!!"

Shiori stared at the girl, horrified by her behavior. "Are you still high? And how can you speak another language?"

"Bwa ha ha! Blame the director!"

"You mean the authors, smart one." Shiori muttered feeling very upset at the sudden change of atmosphere. "Uh, sure. ODing insane Cursed-one. Let's fight, please, so I don't fall asleep."

"Piss! Piss! Piss, piss, Pissduck! Piiiiiiiissssssssddddddddduuuuuucccccccckkkkk! Bwa hee hee hee!!"

_Pop!_ Went another vein on her head. "I said FIGHT!"

"Alrighty pissyducky! Pu ha ha..."

"And shut up while you're at it!"

"At where?"

"At failing in life!" Shiori felt another vein pop on her head, as Megumi made an offended face. "Fight! That's what we're supposed to be doing here! Not insulting me in a different language!" '_When I said fight, I meant phsyically not verbally. Gods, this woman is infuriating.'_

"Hey! I'm not infuriating! That's mean! Take that back!"

"And how are all these people able to read my mind! Stay out!"

Megumi gave a grin. "Well, this is the only time I can actually tell! You're like an open book!"

"Oh, you're one to talk, you hypocrite!" Shiori snorted. "Fine. I know the only way I'll get this fight..."

And as those words left her mouth Shiori lunged forward with her sword in one hand and her sheath halfway off in the other. This was it for real, they were going to fight. No more egging on Megumi, or being egged on by her. As Shiori's hand was about to take the katana completely out of her sheath Megumi started yelling.

"Hey, finally decide to unsheath your sword? Chicken! Needing a sword!" Megumi's taunting faded away as she realized Shiori wasn't rising to take the bait. '_So that's her method? Giving me the cold shoulder? She can't really ignore me...!'_

Megumi had just closed her eyes and stuck out her tongue when she felt a tap on her shoulder. "Aren't you a ninja?" Shiori whispered in her ear. This caused Megumi to yelp and jump forward while grabbing various sizes of shuriken and kunai in hysteria. Megumi whipped around and threw the kunai and shuriken in quick movements.

_Clink. Clink. Clink. Woosh._ Something heavy suddenly flew past Shiori's head. '_Was that a mace?'_ _Woosh._ '_And a morning star? A spear, even?!' _Shiori blocked most of the bigger projectiles with her now unsheathed katana as a flurry of others flew around her during the ninja's panic. Megumi and Shiori started to circle each other, Shiori with her katana in both hands in front of her and her sheath on her belt, and Megumi with four kunai in each hand. The girls eyed each other wearily for a few seconds then Shiori flew forward. Megumi flew backwards and shot the kunai in her right hand forward.

_Clink. Clink. Clink. Thud._ Shiori had blocked the first three with her sword but a few had clipped her in the left shoulder, right where she had pulled out a shuriken. Shiori barely glanced at the kunai embedded in her arm then she shot forward again. This time when she shot forward she managed to land a glancing shot on Megumi's thigh just as the girl stabbed her thigh with a kunai. Both girls jumped back and circled each other again. It was a deadly dance and it was the only thing that held the girls attention. The blood seeping into the ground and the pain was just white noise in the background.

_Clink. Clink. Clink. Clink._ Shiori managed to block all the kunai this time, though it was getting harder. She was losing the feeling in her left arm but she could tell Megumi was losing some ability too. Her shirt was ripped and blood was steadily dripping out of the wound on her stomach, her thigh didn't look much better. '_I just need to make her give in.'_

Shiori shot forward once more, getting Megumi across the other thigh, but deeper this time. Megumi flew backwards as she felt the stinging pain. '_So she's serious. She likes to fight, I can see the joy in her eyes. She's insane!'_ Megumi pulled out more weapons, kunai, shuriken, and even a dirk.

The girls met each other in a clash of metal, sparks flying off. They were going to fight till the end.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
**Salty-Storm  
_Trufflemix_**

**BWA HAHAHAHAHAHA CLIFFHANGERS!! I really hate these... Oh well. I now see the necessity.  
Sorry if it's too centered on the OCs. We just need them to get along then we can get more actual character action.**

_**Bwa hee hee! The curse of the cliffies!! I'm starting to see the fun of these things! Yeah, it is a bit too focused on Megu and Shi, weren't they supposed to be side characters or something?**_

**Uh, yeah. They were.**

_**Oh oops... Oh wells, moving on! To the translation corner!**_

_Ja Ne: _means See ya' later! and those kinds of "hip" slanguage.  
_Ano:_means 'Umm' simple enough for ya'?  
_Otaku: _is a Japanese term used to refer to people with obsessive interests (particularly anime and manga.) So I guess we fall under that category...  
_-Nee: _Is slang for big sister.  
_Sukonbu: _Konbu may be pickled with sweet and sour flavoring and are cut into small strips 5 or 6 centimeters long and 2 centimeters wide, '_su_' is vinegar.  
_katana: _a type of Japanese sword (_nihontō_). The term is sometimes incorrectly used as a generic name for Japanese swords.  
_shuriken_: Ninja stars  
_mace:_ a club  
_morning star: _used to describe medieval club-like weapons which included one or more spikes. Each used, to varying degrees, a combination of blunt-force and puncture attack to kill or wound the enemy.  
_dirk:_ a Scots word for a long dagger; sometimes a cut-down sword blade mounted on a dagger hilt, rather than a knife blade


	3. Teamwork is in the Eye of the Beholder

**Disclaimer:** (So stereotypical!) We (sadly) don't own Gintama or any of it's characters. If we did... Salty-storm would have much more fun in her free time :evil twinkle in eye:. (A/N2: Eww A/N: Heh, you'd have more fun too... Maybe not the way I would but still.) We do own Shiori and Megumi though. And the plot... Even though it's pretty much nonexistant at this point in time.

**RECAP:** After a troublesome situation Megumi and Shiori are (unsurprisingly) fighting. (A/N2: Lol, it's not like they totally forgot our last chapter!)  
-- -- -- --(A/N2: What is the fate of our two heroines?. A/N:... How cheesy. A/N2: Like cheddar! Yummers! :9)

Blah Normal

"Blah" Talking

_Blah _Thinking

(Blah) Us

**Blah** Change of time, place, and POV

_**Teamwork… means never having to take all the blame yourself.**_

**-- -- -- MEANWHILE (Elsewhere)-- -- --**

"Stop following me, you mayonnaise-eating bastard!"

"You stole my lines, you diabetic curly-haired freak-mumu!"

"Oi! Otsuu isn't your commander anymore! Do you think you're cute when you say that- tanuki unchi?" The silver-haired threw his hands into the air in exasperation. "I'll go where you'll never find me- Canon printer!"

As he stormed off, Hijikata shook his head as a couple more anger marks popped all over his face. "I wasn't even looking for you in the first place! _Bakayarou!_"

-- -- -- -- -- -- **Shinsengumi headquarters**-- -- -- --

_'Muehehehehehehe, he'll never find me here!'_ Gintoki giggled to himself, while sneaking around the back of the Shinsengumi Headquarters. It was all perfectly logical. If he had went to a place where he wanted, then he'd find the mayonnaise-stalker. So if he went to a place he hated, then he'd once again find Hijikata, who'd think that if he had went to a place he had hated, then Gin wouldn't be there. So now, the naturally-permed diabetic went to the place where he would never had gone from his free will, the Shinsengumi. Just because he knew the chainsmoker was least likely to.

_'See? You're a genius Gintoki! You deserve a caramel chocolate eclair parfait for that!_' He chuckled once more. He was now rid of the chainsmoker.

Or so he thought, until said chainsmoker turned around the corner of the building, almost tripping over Gintoki (who was laying sprawled out on the grass).

(A/N: guess he doesn't get that caramel chocolate eclair parfait anymore A/N2: I'll eat it for him though XDD)

"Damn it! You really did follow me! Oh dear, this kind of a relationship isn't going to go good, I can already tell the fans are going crazy once more. Ahh, the anime changed again. We're not even following the plot of the manga, oh jeez this isn't good. Maybe some strawberry milk would make the situation better. We can't have _Shounen Ai_ on this without the author's permission, I can already hear the fans going crazy. Isn't this a comedy manga? How are we supposed to explain this? Ahh, this isn't good Gin-chan. _Mumble mumble mumble..._"

"Urusai! You're really pissing me off! I should slice you to death! What the hell are you doing here? This is the Shinsengumi headquarters! I didn't follow you, baka!"

The argument of the two men was about to get physical just when they heard a loud bang followed by yelling they could barely hear. The men froze in spot, heads craning to hear more sounds, wondering what had happened.

Hijikata started walking towards the apartments that the noise had come from, "What the hell was that?"

"How am I supposed to know? This is _your _headquarters. Ahh, now look. There's trouble amidst the Shinsengumi, right under their noses. Ahh, Edo isn't safe is it. Ahh, it hurts my heart! Mother it hurts my heart to see a person who's cracked in the head! Itai!"

"Shut up! I'm really going to cut you to pieces someday!"

"No, that's not good! If I'm gone, then this anime's gone! What are we supposed to call it now? Huh? See, you have to think things through!" The man once known as _Shiroyasha_ called back as he sprinted off in the direction of the loud bang. "You're going to have to at least catch me before you do that!"

"Don't sound so happy about it! Why would I want to catch you?"

"To cut me to pieces, don't tell me you forgot already! No, forget it. I can't have you wanting to catch me. Then this will really turn into a shounen ai. And Sorachi Hideaki-san won't appreciate us changing the genre again... _Mumble mumble mumble._" Gintoki's voice was a little more distant as he slowed to a walk and reached the wall between the courtyard of the apartment complex next door and the Shinsengumi headquarters and peeked over. "Woah, Now I'm really glad they stopped..." He trailed off and started to climb up the wall some more.

"And once I do, I'll throw you behind bars! The only thing that can save you now is to commit seppuku...!" Hijikata paused at the silence of the other, he was curious, though he didn't show it much. Ok maybe just a little. (A/N2: If irritation is a sign of curiosity, then he's VERY curious!). So he walked over to Gintoki, "What're you looking at now, Freelancer..." He trailed off as he saw into the courtyard.

There was weapons of varying sizes and deadliness scattered over the courtyard, most if not all had blood on them. The most frightening thing was the scene in the center of the courtyard. Two girls were locked in combat, kicking, punching, and throwing (Mainly on Megumi's part), and cutting (That's Shiori)- most of the attacks landing- and they barely even moved! Their eyes were locked and they didn't even trip over the fallen weapons as they stepped forward and backward to land even more intricate attacks.

'_She's good. Obviously better with the sword than with hand-to-hand or it seems, as that's Megumi's strongpoint...' _Hijikata noted to himself, eyeing the fight carefully, forgetting his Shinsengumi duties for the moment.

'_Why are they fighting? Did we turn into a completely different anime?' _Gintoki strained forward over the wall, trying to get a better view of the fight, when he suddenly fell (A/N: More like got pushed .:Looks at Hijikata accusingly:.) onto the outskirts of the girl's 'battlefield'.

'_Now he can't commit seppuku. Maybe the girls will finish him off- if they can. Probably won't, but oh well. I can accept physical harm.'_ Hijikata went on talking to himself as he brushed off his hands and took Gintoki's spot on the wall.

The girls still hadn't noticed Gintoki (much to his relief) as he inched towards the gate on the other side of the courtyard. '_If I just can go along the wall and get to the gate on the other side, I can kill Hijikata... Oi! Why is Sougo-kun's ideas getting into my head? Hmm, though a bazooka is a good idea. I prefer a bankai.'_

His train of thought was interrupted when a kunai hit the wall not two inches from his face. Even though he was once a fierce samurai, Gintoki couldn't help but scream (A/N2: Kinda like a little girl. AIIIIEEE!). "WHAT THE HELL!?"

Then the girls finally stopped fighting in mid-punch/kick. They turned towards Gintoki and when their eyes landed on him narrowed. Well, at least Shiori's did, Megumi continued to stare as her mind was still processing the sight before her.

'_Uh-oh... this isn't good, Gin-san.'_

Hijikata jumped off the wall into the courtyard and swiftly put his body in between Gintoki and the two murderous teenage girls. "So now I have to save you? Maybe this will make you stop following me, if you owe me..."

_Blank stare... blank stare... image forming... 87 percent loaded... Applying settings... Loading complete. _"Eh? Ah! Gin-chan-sensei! What are you doing here?"

"You just noticed him now? You really do have a cursed mind!"

"What? How many times have I told you? Stop. Calling. Me. Cursed One!"

"You never have, and I never will. You're cursed, I need to make sure you remember that." Shiori turned her attention back to the two men at the wall "What are you doing here Hijikata-sensei? Trying to make sure I don't get hurt?," Shiori cocked her head to the side, "Or are you trying to upset the fans by being together with Kintoki-sensei?"

"It's not Kin, it's Gin!! When will you stop using that joke?!" Gintoki yelled in dismay, "I don't care if your looks can kill, I'M NOT KINTOKI, THIS ISN'T A HENTAI SHOW!"

Fighting momentarily forgotten by her teacher's outburst, Megumi burst out laughing. "You don't even bother denying being here with Hijikata-sensei to upset the fans..." Her laughter abruptly ended, "EHH?! What? You're not here with him are you? EWW!! Just what is the world turning to?!"

"Cursed-one, shut up will you?" Shiori's head was starting to hurt from the other girl's outburst. '_What are they doing here? Hijikata-sensei didn't know we were going to fight, did he?' _

Her train of thought was interrupted when she was hit on the shoulder by a pebble, she hissed in pain (A/N: Only because she's already so cut up and Megumi is a sadist and aiming for said cuts. A/N2: Not as much as the other girl! ;P), and glared at Megumi who was yelling and jumping around despite her own injuries.

"Woo! 30 more points, I am so good!"

"SENGOKU! We're not done! Get serious!" Shiori had started to charge at Megumi when she was tripped by a foot... That was connected to Hijikata's leg. In retaliation, as she was falling, she hooked her foot around his ankle and brought him down with her. Shiori's and Hijikata's faces were inches away. Shiori swallowed, _'My, this is awkward...'_ She casually scooted back and sat up some, on her side. "So, Hijikata-sensei, lovely day, isn't it?"

"You're covered in blood."

Shiori looked down, ignoring the other girl and teacher. "Wow, I hadn't even noticed."

Megumi looked at them laying on the ground with a sly grin on her face. "Wait, Why are you and Gin-chan-sensei here Hijikata-sensei?"

"We heard a boom." The half-way forgotten silver-haired man started inching towards the small group. If another fight started, he didn't want to be in the middle of it.

"So you hear a boom, which most likely means explosives, aka danger, and you run towards it?" Shiori eyed both men, they weren't as smart as they seemed. '_Wait, I mean Hijikata-sensei isn't as smart as he seems. I already knew Gintoki was missing something. Then again, Hijikata warned me away from Meg- I mean Cursed one- after he partnered us up... Looks like they're both missing important parts..."_

"Wait, shouldn't it be the opposite? PSSH! Wow, you guys are stupid!"

Shiori looked up and gave the girl a bland look. "If you're going to call them stupid, then what are we supposed to call you?"

Megumi glared at the girl, growing tired of her constant remarks. "Well I guess, since it's right next to headquarters, he has to do it. After all, it is his job." Megumi started to look tired, her eyes were glazing over some.

"Who's job?"

"Hijikata-sensei, duh."

"Still a little lost here Cursed-one. Want to clue me in?"

"Not really." Shiori glared, so Megumi decided to continue. "Well, if you _insist,_ he's a Shinsengumi member."

Shiori blinked, the message not yet clicking. She blinked in realization and turned back to Hijikata. "You suck at your job."

_Anger pop. _"How would you know?"

"I've only been here for three days, and I can already tell: You suck at your job."

"Ha ha, Hijikata-sensei, veins are popping out on your forehead..." Megumi giggled, starting to become somewhat delirious. "Ara? Why is everything going sideways? Whee..." _Thunk._ Megumi hit the ground.

**-- --At The Hospital-- --**

"What was she doing?"

"Eto... Trying to stop... Elephants... From robbing her house? Uhh... yeah, very deadly..."

"If you're going to lie, come up with a better excuse! You're in front of a member of the Shinsengumi for heaven's sake!"

"Hey, I'm not with her."

Megumi groggily opened her eyes to hear arguing. '_Where am I?"_ She lifted her hand to brush her hair back from her face when she saw the I.V. attached to her arm. She screamed. "AHHHHHHHHHHH! I HATE HOSPITALS!!"

Shiori, Hijikata and Gintoki walked calmly into the room with a frantic doctor behind them.

"Ah! You're awake! What happened? Are you ok?" Megumi glanced at the frantic doctor then glared at Shiori.

"Am I in the hospital?"

"Yes! Yes! You are!"

"I wasn't asking you, I was asking the foreigner-demon-woman."

"Well, he did answer your question, so there's really no need to reprimand him." Shiori paused, she wanted to really make sure the Cursed-one was ok, she did faint, but she didn't want it to be weird. "Since she's ok, can I go?" She aimed her question at Hijikata.

"Nope." Hijikata pulled out handcuffs, pulled her towards Megumi's bed and cuffed her to the end of it. "You get to make sure she's really ok."

"WHAT?!" Shiori fumed, "It's her fault she's here! We were actually evenly matched! But if she had given up earlier... Wait, nevermind. She would probably still be here- No wait, she was ODing before! Yes, that's it! So in the end, it's still her fault! Why. Must. I. Stay?!"

"Wait, I'm confused."

Gintoki stepped forward, "You're in the hospital for fighting like a demon with Shiori and we had to carry you here... or massive overdose on medication. Troublesome ninjas... drugs are not the way..."

"No, no I got that part- and I don't do drugs! But why is he making her stay here? That would start more trouble! I'm fine! Hey! Listen to me!"

"Don't follow me once you leave. I'll make you commit seppuku... Or maybe Sougo will curse you." Hijikata and Gintoki walked out of the room discussing what they would do to each other if they caught the other again that day (While ignoring Megumi's protests of her innocence). Gintoki popped his head back into the room.

"I'll come tomorrow morning to unlock you guys so you can go to school. Unless Megumi-chan is still dying... Then both you girls aren't allowed to kill each other and must skip school. Ja ne."

"Wait! Gin-chan-sensei! Don't leave me here! No! Fine, Gintoki-sensei don't leave!" Megumi struggled to sit up but stopped when the world started spinning.

_Sigh_. "It's no use cursed one... Hey, do you have a bobby pin?" Shiori was trying to think of a way out of the hospital room. Megumi was prone to outbursts that hurt her ears. "Woah, now..."

"Why do you need a bobby pin? This is no time to worry about how you look. You really ARE vain!"

Shiori gave the girl yet another bland look, "Look, I don't want to fight with you when you're dying, and-"

"I'm not dying!"

"-Don't interrupt me! Any ways, I want to get out of here. Do you have a bobby pin?"

Megumi looked thoughtful for a minute then ran her hands through her hair. "Nope, it must've fallen out."

"Damn. Hey, Ha ha! Knew it'd come in handy someday!" Megumi looked at Shiori in confusion when Shiori leaned down and started playing with her shoelaces.

"I think you need to be in the hospital too, I thought you needed a bobby pin, not shoela-" Megumi's critique died on her tounge as Shiori pulled two bobby pins from her shoe. "Why do you have bobby pins in your shoe? Do you have loose bangs on your feet?" Big pause. "Eww, that'd be disgusting to have such a hairy foot. But if it's true, tell me so that I can take a picture."

Shiori chose to ignore her as she inspected the handcuffs. _'I haven't had to do this in a while. At least for myself...' (_A/N2: SUBLIMINAL MESSAGING!)

"HEY! Foreigner-demon-lady!" Megumi started to nudge Shiori with her foot. "Shi-chan! Pissy! Heeeellllooooooo? Mushi mushi? Anyone there?"

"Will you shut up?" Shiori snapped as she started to mess with the handcuffs.

Megumi strained to see what Shiori was doing, '_She's good at ignoring people, darn her!' "_Sooo, what'cha doey?"

"Getting out of here." Shiori said, still struggling.

Megumi turned away from the girl and turned on the t.v. She could still hear signs of struggle. "Twist it to the left, and dig it in a little more, you ninja-wannabe."

"Shut up. I know what I'm doing." Shiori grumbled. But followed her instructions anyway. Realising it worked, as she stood up and stretched, the handcuffs that had been linking her to the bed were dangling from her hand. "There, that feels much better. I never have liked the feeling of being cuffed." She leaned down to put the bobby pins back into her shoelaces. _'Never know when they'll come in handy again.'_

"I think it's good preparation once you get behind bars."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Megumi gave the girl a relaxed grin as she waved her hand in (supposedly) reassurance. "Don't worry, I'll pay your bail money."

"I'm not going to jail."

"Don't take it like that! It's just that you seem more like a criminal than an 'Oh, so noble' samurai." Megumi assured bluntly (to Shiori's great annoyance) in innocent honesty. "Since I'm a ninja, and more _dishonorable _than those high-headed samurais, I don't need to worry."

"I hate ninjas."

"EHH? But we're so loveable! Whyyyy?"

Shiori gave a short snort and waved. "I'm leaving, don't die."

As Shiori started to open the door of the hospital room, Megumi stopped her. "I don't think it's a good idea to go out that way."

"And why not?" Shiori stopped, her hand inches away from freedom.

"How do you know they really left?"

Shiori turned back, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"They could've stayed to see if you could get out." Megumi leaned back, relaxing into the bed.

"I highly doubt that, they're not that motivated." And with that she opened the door to Megumi's room and walked out. "I'll come back tomorrow morning before Kintoki-sensei comes. Ciao."

-- -- -- -- -- **Twenty Minutes Later-- -- -- -- **

"NO!! LET ME GO!" Shiori was struggling in two security guards arms, still in the hospital. They were carrying her up the stairs and in the past 15 minutes had only been up one flight of stairs. They needed to get up 6 more.

"Sorry miss, the Shinsengumi gave us the picture of two dangerous people and you're one of them." One of the security guards (A/N: Who now has the beginnings of a black eye.) explained, "You're not allowed to leave the building until you're picked up tomorrow morning."

_'Psshht. The only ones in danger are Hijikata-sensei and Gintoki-sensei. Once I get out, they'll pay.' _Her thoughts were interrupted after she felt a sharp pain on the back of her head and the world started to grow dark.

-- -- -- --

"- up, Foreigner!"

'_What? The hell?'_

"You silly duck woman! I said wake up you loser! The only way I can taunt your failed plan is to make you angry, and I can't do that if you're sleeping! Oi! If you don't wake up, I'll force a sukonbu in your mouth, and then I'll sic Kagura on you! She'll beat you so bad! I know from experience!" The voice quickly changed from teasing to panic. "Dang it, Arashigoto! I'll really do it! Wake up! She's from the Yato clan! Shiori!"

"_Ugh_, blegh. Shut up! Oww, my head..."

"Ah! You're awake! But what's wrong? Did they catch you while you were on drugs or something? You seem groggy, which is great for me!"

"Shut up, don't laugh at my misery. And why is that so wonderful to you anyways?"

Megumi giggled from her bed, feeling the effects of her medication finally leaving. "Because if you were still sober, then you'd probably get mad at what happened to you and probably blame me!"

"Huh?" Shiori looked down and yelped, then she realized she yelped and tried to cover her mouth. But she couldn't. Both arms, and legs where tied down to the bed. With the restraints that they put on mental patients. There was another restraint across her waist. "What happened?! Why am I restrained? Why are there no locks to get out of?!"

"Oh... You don't remember, madam nutcase?" Megumi was a little worried.

Shiori glared at the name. "No, I picked the lock on the handcuffs, then I left." Shiori tried to put her hand under her chin in thought but grimaced when she realized she was still temporarily affixed to the bed. "Then... Oh! Then those damn rent-a-cops caught me trying to walk out the front door- which isn't illegal- and stopped me."

"Yeah, then you got knocked out and dragged here... Bwehehehehehe. Idiot! Security guards took down the mighty foreigner-demon-woman-houdini! How embarrassing! Kekekekeke..."

"Have I told you how much I really hate ninjas?"

"Oh, yes. I think you may have mentioned it. That'll soon change."

Shiori moaned after struggling to release herself from the restraints, "If I wasn't restrained right now, I would so kick your ass."

Megumi was taken aback. "Hey now! You're the one that said not to die! Someone will die if we keep fighting."

"But it doesn't _have_ to be us." Shiori said slyly. Megumi wasn't being held down by anything. If she could get Megumi to free her she could get the proper revenge on the two men whose fault this whole mess was.

"Oh? I think you're scheming. Spill."

"Untie the restraints and get me out of here and I'll tell you."

"Nope."

"Why not?!" Shiori nearly screeched, almost immediately calming down. "Don't you want to get out of here?"

"You want revenge. It really doesn't matter if I stay here or not."

"And? I don't see you're point."

Megumi sighed then looked to the door, "There are two guards waiting outside the door-"

"Yes, and one at the stair well, one at the elevator, and most likely a couple more in the hall."

Megumi looked at the other girl in surprise. "If you knew that, then how do you suppose you're getting out of here?"

"As much as I hate to say it, _we're_ getting out of here through the window."

"I already see two problems with that. One: the 'we'? Two: the fact that IT'S An EIGHT STORY DROP!" Megumi sat up straight, then relaxing laid back and in a false calm said, "I don't think you can do it."

"Yes 'we'. I don't know where either of those soon-to-be-dead men are, or where they're likely to be. So sadly enough your presence is required. And aren't you a ninja? Besides, there's only 9 stories in the hospital, we go to the roof then hop over to the next building, and climb down from there."

"Ah, so you did think this out." Shiori gave Megumi a look of pure annoyance, Megumi just smiled brightly. "How do you know there isn't a guard on the roof?"

"Hijikata-sensei doesn't expect us to work together, therefore he doesn't expect me to use tricks to get out of here."

"But Hijikata can sometimes get paranoid so there's also a chance..."

Shiori gave the girl a raised eyebrow. "True, but do you honestly think that he'd waste that many men on us when Edo's in _this _state already?"

Shiori saw her logic making its mark on the hospitalized kunoichi. Sengoku's eyes drifted once more to her imprisonment. "But should I really trust a nut who's in a mental binder? I mean, you even said that you were going to uhh, you'd umm, you wanted to, ahh, kick my... well, kick my umm, uh... butt."

Shiori glared. "I'm not in mental binding! They only are using these because it's strong enough to hold me down."

Megumi looked at the other girl, trying to quirk up one eyebrow, failing miserably. (Megumi: Darn it! How do you work these things!) "How do you know?"

Shiori gave her a dangerous smile, full of teeth, eyes sparkling with pure determination, "I have some experience." The smile faded. "We really need to get out of here though. They'll be on guard tomorrow. I can't wait for then."

Megumi rolled her eyes. "See? Mental criminal." She muttered after finally giving up on the eyebrow thing.

Shiori glared. "What did you say?"

"Umm... uhh, dimensional subliminal?"

"What?"

"I don't know!"

"Will you just untie me already?"

"No, because if you're tied up, then I can make fun of you all I want without you hurting me. So It's all good!"

Shiori groaned, she needed to get out now, _without_ the other one's annoying comments, how was she supposed to do that? _'I guess I could bribe her... But with what? Hmmm. FOOD!!'_

_"_How about we make a deal?"

Megumi perked up, '_It looks like this one's a schemer. Wonder what she thinks could get to me.'_ Megumi sat up in a mockery of a businessman (well, woman...) making an important deal, she smirked. "Che, I'm listening."

Shiori gave an inner sigh of relief, as she held up her impassive business face. "Well, when I visited your house, I realized that you have few items of any quality. Thus, meaning you don't have any chances of eating anything- unless said things are terribly rotten, you don't seem to have enough money to buy ah, sweets."

Megumi gave an involuntary twitch, her straight face having dissappeared, as she was not able to keep in a look of pure longing that had filled her eyes to the brim. "S-so? I hate s-sweet things. Th-They-Th-They make me... gag... with hateness."

Shiori blinked. _'Does she really have it this bad? This is too melodramatic for something as trivial as a bit of sugar.'_

"I could easily get a year's supply of _chocolate _to anyone, anytime. Ah, that's right! I'm tied up, I guess I can't. Shame, I guess whoever wanted it can't get-"

"WAIT!!" Megumi yelled as she jumped out of her bed, not noticing as the IV ripped out of her arm, "I-I mean, reconsider what you're thinking," Megumi stuttered as she backtracked, "I could _possibly_ get you out of bed, but I'm not interested in chocolate."

Shiori held back a burst of laughter and just barely contained her smirk. In a (mostly) bored voice she continued. "Well, what would make that _possibly _turn into a _definitely?_

"How good are your, let's go with... Truffles? Or how about cake? No cookies- ah, maybe I should settle for brownies... no, I should settle for ice cream- ah, what am I thinking? Crêpes are definitely the way to go! No wait, but a parfait also sounds good right now... hmm... For now, I'll settle for truffles."

'_That is still chocolate, you know...' _Shiori snapped back into reality, "My truffles? I have a recipe I made a few years back... It did when a couple of awards or something. I don't know why though, I didn't really get to eat any of them, everyone stole them. Something about how chocolatey they were... Although, they were probably too sweet, I put in too much sugar- ahh."

Megumi had leaned forward as Shiori was speaking, she had even started to drool a little at the word sugar. '_This is going to be easier than I thought. Cursed-one, you are too easy.'_

"So do we have a deal?"

"How many truffles do I get? I don't even know how good they are." Megumi knew they'd probably be good, Shiori was too uptight for something to go wrong and the truffles turn out bad. Megumi almost giggled at the thought of the possibility of Shiori freaking out in the kitchen, she stopped though when she realized that the other girl's attention was on her, "Huh? Did you say something?"

"Yeah, One batch of truffles per week, for one year."

"More!! One batch isn't enough for one week!" Megumi temporarily forgot to play it cool and let out a burst of her usual self.

"You don't even know how many are in a batch."

"Well?"

"Well what?" The tied down girl would be enjoying bugging Megumi even more if she wasn't tied down.

"How many are in a batch?"

"A batch of what?"

"AHH!!" Megumi yelled, "You really do have brain dama-"

"Urusai! If you're too loud, the guards will come in and you'll never get any truffles!"

"Ha! I knew you didn't forget!" Shiori rolled her eyes. '_Of course you did.'_

"There's 21 in a batch."

"Why 21?"

"I like that number."

"But I like the number is 26."

"Liar, you're only saying that to get more."

"But it's really my favorite number!"

"I'm making 21, that's how many are in a batch! So are you going to untie me or not?"

"We have to shake on it first." Megumi then stuck out her hand to Shiori, the other girl gave the kunoichi a bland look. And wriggled around in her restrainments. "Oh, hehehe right. Sorry 'bout that."

Shiori just glowered at the other girl. "Just untie me, then we can shake on it."

"Alright, Madame Foreigner-Houdini-Demon-Woman. Tee hee! That's so witty of me!" Megumi untied all the restraints except for the one around Shiori's waist, she had reached for it, but her hand was smacked away.

"I can get it myself." Shiori quickly untied herself and stood up. "Well, at least I still have my clothes, " She said while looking down on her blood-spattered jeans '_I hate cleaning out blood. How am I going to explain this to mom and dad? Oh, Right. Mom's not back yet, dad's too busy.' _

"Where are my clothes?" Megumi looked around the bare room, there were no clothes in sight and she was clad in a patient's gown. "What am I going to do?"

Shiori sighed, "Looks like I'll have to get you some." She walked past Megumi and had reached the door before Megumi stopped her.

"Remember what happened last time you went out there?"

"Oh yeah, that's not going to happen again."

"And what makes you think that?"

Shiori pointed across the hall to a small red rectangle on the wall. Megumi's eyes got as large as dinner plates, Shiori just had an evil smile.

"I'll use that." She pointed to the fire alarm on the wall and the seemingly empty hall, "Once every one is freaked, we'll take some clothes and hightail it to the roof before they realize it's a false alarm."

Megumi just stared as Shiori walked calmly across the hall and pulled the alarm. Instantaneously the alarm started screeching and a sprinkler on the ceiling down the hall went off.

"Come on now, no time to waste." Shiori sauntered off whistling in the direction of a closet full of scrubs and nurses uniforms. She popped her head into the closet, then back out. "So do you want to be a nurse or a doctor?"

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
No idea where some of this stuff came from. I guess my plot bunny (Rainbrella, he was in Monty Python and The Holy Grail--the killer bunny rabbit) was doing his job in inspiring us.  
Thanks snake screamer for the idea-- We already have a job for Otose, she'll appear soon...ish. Love the idea for the fight. Hahahaha probably going to use that later on.  
Also thanks to 0animelover0 for being the first to review. I never realized how much I love reviews. I always thought that authors were just saying stuff, but I really like reviews... Yeah... So review...**

**_Or else we quill you! (My authorish way of killing you, with a_ quill)_ And unlike Salty, not only do I have a plot bunny, but I have a plotpuppy and a plotpanda! So hahahahahahahha for you Stormy! And thanks for the reviews folks! They're fun to read!! So send MORE!!_**

**Translations  
tanuki- racoon  
unchi- shit/bullshit  
Shounen Ai- A genre for manga and anime, as well as fanfiction. Means 'boy's love'. Tends to be about boy's love but not necessarily about boy's sex and emphasizes the emotions over the sex.  
urusai- noisy/annoying. kind of saying 'you're noisy!'  
baka- idiot/stupid (If you don't know this I'm surprised)  
itai- ouch  
seppuku- Honorable suicide commited by Samurai after they have shamed themselves or are failed their masters. Samurai could be ordered to commit suicide by their lords (Daimyo). The samurai would disembowel himself, and when the pain got to be too much to where he might shame himself, his second would decapitate him (again, surprised if you don't know it, Hijikata is obsessed)  
mushi mushi- hello (for the phone)**

**Thanks for reading, please review with any ideas, comments, or ramblings! _But no flames! _I've never gotten any and I don't want to start!**


	4. It Wasn't Impossible When I Did It

**RECAP:** Shiori and Megumi make a deal to make a daring escape. Will the partnership last? (A/N: geez, I could be someone to intro soap-operas. That's not good.)  
(A/N2: Yeah, for Sesame Street. Anywho, moving on...")  
_"So do you want to be a nurse or a doctor?"_

_**When You're Trapped In A Corner, Do The Only Thing You Can Do: Chew Your Way Through The Wall**_

Blah Normal

"Blah" Talking

_Blah_ Thinking

(Blah) Us

**Blah** Change of time, place, and/or POV

"YOU'RE A JUVINILE DELINQUET!!" Megumi stared at Shiori in a mix of horror and disgust, the truth (Or at least, what she saw as the truth) dawning on her. "I can't associate with you!"

_Sigh_. "Look, I don't care if you don't want to associate with me. So, unless you want to get in trouble for causing this mess and making everyone evacuate the hospital, you better get some clothes and escape with me."

Megumi looked blankly at Shiori, then what she had said finally clicked, "Wait, Me? Get in trouble? Why? It's your fault! I didn't pull the fire alarm! I'm not the one who is going to be digging her way out of jail and wash up on an island and find treasure and pull a 'Count of Monte Cristo'."

Shiori's eyebrow popped up, "Urusai, you talk too much. Now, answer my question, Do you want to be a doctor or a nurse?"

"You're not even listening to me."

"Of course not, I think you should be a nurse, it fits your underdog personality, then again, it'd be easier to scale walls as a doct-"

"You're not even pretending to listen any more! You're talking to yourself! This proves you're insane!"

Shiori glared at Megumi then shoved a pile of clothes and a pair of shoes at her, "Look, put these on. If you're not out in two minutes, I'll leave without you, and you won't get any truffles." Shiori then proceeded to roughly push Megumi into the clothes closet.

"Grr... I still can't believe they frickin burned my clothes! It was just a little bit of blood, it's not like I was gonna give anyone AIDS or something! I mean, they could've just washed it, but nooo those germaphobes just had to burn it!"

Shiori ignored her and continued to hum quietly to herself.

"Hey..." Big pause. "Everyone thinks there's a fire in the hospital right?"

"Obviously. Gee, I didn't think you could be this dim, Cursed one."

"No! That's not it! I mean, a hospital's policy is to save the patients before anyone else, right? Then shouldn't a nurse be on her way right now?"

"Oh..."

_Bam! Bam! Bam! _"EXCUSE ME! WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN EMERGENCY RIGHT NOW, SO WE MUST EVACUATE NOW! HEY! I'M COMING IN!"

"Um, stop yelling! You're bothering the patient!"

"SHUT UP! YOU'RE GOING TO SCARE THE PATIENT! NOW COME OUT, YOU DUCK PISS!"

_'It's pissyducky... Wait a sec! No it's not!! Damn Cursed-one. Getting to my mind!' _Shiori continued to hastily pack their things as she racked around her brain for a good idea to get rid of the crazy nurse outside their doors.

Megumi stepped out of the closet in a full nurse attire, pulling down the skirt in irritation, muttering profanities under her breath. In one swift movement, she pushed Shiori onto the bed and pulled the blanket over her. Shiori blinked but stayed where she was as the kunoichi swiftly opened the door to see a large bulky nurse holding a (thankfully empty) metal bedpan in her hands.

Megumi put up a sweet face that really resembled Otae's "Ano, we are in the middle of an emergency, so please evacuate the building and stop bothering the patients, _you old hag. _Please._" _She chirped in a cloyingly-sweet voice.

"OI OI OI! YOU CAN'T USE 'HAG' AND 'PLEASE' IN THE SAME SENTENCE! IT DOESN'T WORK OUT, YOU BRAT."

The ninja kept her composure. "Obviously you've never been to a grammar class, as they work out perfectly fine. And what makes you think we're speaking Japanese? Maybe it's perfect grammar in Klingon, (A/N2: Salty said it was in star trek or something, but I've never watched it so...) or Korean, or English? _You brainless git._"

"THEN ARE YOU A FOREIGNER? YOU'RE AN AMANTO? '_EKYUUZU MI, PURIIZU GO DAI IN A HOORU!'_ BAKAYARO._"_

"Ah, it seems your head is bleeding from stupidity. Please evacuate to the nearest udon restaraunt and commit seppuku before you spill too much blood onto the hospital, _you brain-dead fool_."

"MY HEAD'S NOT BLEEDING! AND WHAT DOES A RAMEN SHOP AND SEPPUKU HAVE TO DO WITH BRAIN DISORDERS?"

"Ara, ara. I said udon cart, not ramen! Typical, you wouldn't see the difference between the two. See, your miniscule brain can easily be mistaken as an egg, or an oden. _So die and leave us in peace, you old fart."_

"YOU SAID IT WAS A RESTAURANT BEFORE! AH, WAIT A MINUTE! THAT'S NOT THE PATIENT!" Shiori rolled her eyes. _'It took her this long?' _"SHE LOOKS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM BEFORE! I HOPE SOMEONE SKINS YOU."

"It's plastic surgery. She just came out of a surgery because of your ugliness... - Though I must say, the doctor didn't really do a good job, _you bothersome pest_." Shiori glared from where she was.

"IT SAYS HERE THAT SHE WAS HERE FROM AN INJURY! HOW COULD SHE RECOVER FROM A SURGERY WHEN SHE ONLY CAME IN 3 HOURS AGO? THIS ISN'T EVEN A COSMETICS HOSPITAL!"

"Ah, I see you're already senile and forgot the date and the location. That's not good! You should take a rest in an electric chair, it'll really help. _I hope the winter takes you."_

"SILENCE! IT SAYS SO ON THE TRANSCRIPT THAT SHE'S ONLY BEEN HERE FOR 3 HOURS! AND THE WINTER ISN'T FOR 1515 DAYS. ROT IN HELL, DAMN YOU."

"She was so traumatized by your face that she wanted to do plastic surgery. So please behead yourself at the nearest exit. Thank you."

"HEY, WHAT DOES MY FACE HAVE TO DO WITH PLASTIC SURGERY? WHY SHOULD I BEHEAD MYSELF? THAT WOULD SCARE THEM EVEN MORE! WAIT, WHERE'D SHE GO-"

_Bonk._

Shiori yawned from the doorway as she dropped the 124 pound heart moniter to the ground next to the unconcious nurse. She picked up her pack, tossing the kunoichi a smirk at her discomfort at the length of her outfit, who holding in her complaints about it as she knew the samurai-wannabe (This is Megumi's words exactly) would come up with a sassy reply.

Megumi grumbled again, dropping her sweet facade instantly. "I could've handled that, you know."

"Che, whatever. You were having too much fun dissing that lady. I was bored."

"But was it really okay to knock her out? I mean, won't other nurses come? Remember hospital policy?"

"Che, do you have any idea where this is? Edo! The one place that people are too stupid to take care of even themselves! Look at Tokidoki-sensei! He's a blankfaced idiot, and the Shinsengumi are all such morons to the point that they can't even do their job right!"

Megumi gave a thoughtful look. "Hmm, you're right. Okeedokee, let's go!"

Megumi had started to skip out of the room but she was quickly yanked back into the room by her collar. She whipped around and glared at the offending hand that had pulled her back into the room.

_Sigh._ "We can't go down the stairs, baka. They have cameras in the stairwells. Cameras catching us going up to the roof is a big no-no and equals us landing in a real holding cell, one that I won't be able to get both of us out of... Then I can't get my revenge. That wouldn't work."

Megumi stopped glaring at Shiori's hand about halfway through her long-winded speech, "Well then, how do you supposed we get out of here, Shi-chan?"

"... Remember what I said earlier?"

Big eyes. "I thought you were kidding! You don't really expect me to climb out the window dressed as a nurse, do you? People will start thinking I'm like Sa-chan-sensei! No! I don't wanna! Me no maso!"

"Hmm? Who's Sa-chan? And are you talking about masochism?" _Shakes head. "_Wait! It doesn't matter, I don't care! We're going out the window! That's why I asked you if you wanted to be a doctor or a nurse! I need your help to do this, Ms. Cursed Ninja!"

Shiori walked over to look out the window on the far wall. '_Luckily we're facing the alley behind the hospital. Nothing here but apartments.'_ She opened the window and guestured for Megumi to go first, sighing when the other girl just avoided her gaze and squirmed.

"Look," She said walking over to the other girl, putting her hands on Megumi's shoulders (in case she needed to drag her), "You need to go out sooner or later. It will be easier if you go first, because sadly enough, you actually know how to scale a wall. I think I get the basic idea, but..."

"Well, we all know that! But still, you go first! I want to see you struggle." Megumi quipped, trying to stall as long as possible.

"Gah! Stop being so freaking shy and go out the window to the roof! It's only one story up!"

"I'm wearing a skirt! And ninjas are supposed to be concealed! If I climb a frickin wall then the whole world's going to see and frickin hunt me down!"

"NO! They're not. We're facing apartments that don't even have windows!"

"What?! What kind of an apartment doesn't even have a window?! That's terrible! Then people can't look out it and say 'Haa, it looks like it'll rain'! When they don't know that it's really snowing outside and then they're out in a blizzard with only an umbrella for protection! I'd never want to live in a place with no windows! I should complain to their landlord! No windows!"

"That's not important! Just climb already! I already got this far, and I am not going to let you ruin it!"

"What about my skirt?!"

"Who cares? No one's looking! And did you already forget about the truffles-?"

Megumi was crouched on the window sill before Shiori could blink. "Well, are you coming or not?" The kunoichi said, as if she herself, had been the one waiting.

Shiori walked over, mumbling something about "Damn ninjas..." and other profanities aimed towards the Cursed-one.

Once the girls had reached the roof, without falling off (or pushing each other off), they started arguing.

"We're hitting Hijikata first! It's his fault!"

"Baka! Cursed-one, think here. I know that you, surprisingly, have a brain! You just need to use it! If we hit Hijikata-sensei first, we have a greater chance of being caught! He's Shinsengumi, remember?"

"Don't call me Cursed-one! Wait, what does him being Shinsengumi have to do with anything? Are you sure we should be out here? I think you should be in the hospital." Megumi looked expectantly at Shiori, who just sighed and shook her head.

"Where is Gintoki-sensei's house?"

"Oh my kami! (A/N2: Bwa ha ha!) Did you actually say his name right?"

"What? Tokidoki-sensei? Does it really matter what I call him? Where does he live?" Veins started to pop up on Shiori's forehead.

"You know, if you didn't look like you could kill me, I would laugh at you right now," Shiori shot her a look full of poison. "Eh hehehehe, ah... Gin-chan lives over there." Megumi stuttered as she pointed off into the distance.

"Then what're you waiting for?" With that, Shiori jumped off the edge of the roof, into the night.

Megumi sighed, then followed the other girl only making one small noise when more of her stitches ripped open. '_Che. Getting stitched up in the first place was pointless, I guess.' _

"Owwie..."

-- -- -- **Outside of the Yorozuya building**-- -- -- --

Megumi looked into the window, searching for a familiar silver-haired, good-for-nothing man. (A/N2: No! Not that guy from episode 52, or his kid!)

"I can't find him! Are you sure we should be doing this?"

Shiori snorted, "You can't find him because he's in the other room, sleeping... With Jump on his face. And yes, I am sure. Don't chicken out now."

"Don't you think his life is already screwed up enough?"

"Hmm? Are you sure you don't want to get revenge because yo-" _CRASH. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH._

Gintoki popped up from his laying position, causing the girls to lose their balance and almost fall off the roof. Shiori looked at Megumi mouthing '_What the hell!?'_. Both girls looked through the window once more, the sight was chilling... At least to Megumi, that is, until she realized the situation. Then she just tried to stifle her giggles.

A big white dog-looking thing was ripping up the Jump that had been laying on Gintoki's face, while the man in question was frantically yelling for help.

"Kagura!! GET YOUR MONSTER OFF MY JUMP!!" He jumped around some more, almost reaching for the Jump, but deciding against it when Sadaharu nipped at Gintoki, taking off half of his sleeve. "OI!! WHERE ARE YOU?! AIII! MY JUMP!!"

Megumi turned to Shiori, "See, poor guy, that's the newest copy. Already screwed up enough."

Shiori just sighed and turned towards the Shinsengumi headquarters, "Fine. We're wasting moonlight here. Let's hit Hijikata-sensei now."

"Wait a minute! Just how did I get myself involved in your crazy revenge plan? Oi!"

'_Why does she say his name rig__ht? Is this comic relief?! Where's the plot?' _Megumi just nodded and started walking to the edge of the roof when a noise in the alley below her made her stop. "Eh?" She looked down and saw blurs of red and black whizzing this way and that, every once in a while slamming into each other and flying back. She could feel herself getting a bit dizzy from following it, forcing her to blink and look up.

Shiori was already ahead, leaping farther and farther away until she was no more than a speck.

Megumi gave a grin. '_I'm finally rid of her... until she notices.' _She turned her attention back onto the sight before her as she noticed something was familiar. She found that she could see the shapes and recognize them. She gasped.

Did she somehow awaken a new bloodline? Was she a lost Uchiha? Did she have a jinchuriki inside of her? Was the Akatsuki after her? Was Itachi really dead? DID SHE FINALLY BECOME A NINJA FROM ANOTHER ANIME? '_This is a Jump wish come true!' _She squealed fangirlishly in her mind.

But before she could continue her highly unlikely fantasies, she was forced to jump when she noticed that the building she was crouching on started shaking as the red blur below crashed into it. Megumi leaped over to another building, for fear that the previous one would crumble from beneath her. It didn't, (Megumi: I'm not fat!) but the building she had jumped to was a bit shorter than the previous one and gave her more of a lateral view instead of the previous bird's eye view perspective. She found she could make out the scene below better, and was almost instantly engrossed in the scene below.

**--In the Alley--**

_BAM. CRASH_. The red-head slammed into the wall, the hem of her red dress getting caught on several nooks in the wall, making her immobile. As she reached down to unhook her dress, she saw a blur in her peripheral vision, and raised her umbrella barely in time.

"Are you getting weaker China girl?" A malevolent voice crept out of the darkness, an innocent face following it, "You know, if you give up..." He trailed off as she glared up at him with her too-large blue eyes.

"Urusai, Kono Bakayaro! I don't want to be infected with your sadistic idiocy." She slammed her umbrella open causing the boy in uniform to jump back. Both teens proceeded to fight like demons, dodging and attacking at inhuman speeds.

Kagura kept backing Sougo more and more into the alley, making it so that Megumi (who was still unknown to them) had to strain closer to the edge of the roof to see them. Kagura kept swinging violently at Sougo, while he barely parried them with his forearms.

"Oi! Sadist-freak! Why aren't you fighting? Think I'll go easy on you?" She punctuated each question with an increasingly violent swipe to Sougo's head. On her last question, at the last second, Sougo dropped his arms by a scant milimeter, his attention drawn to the shadow on the roof. He was struck on the side of his head, the force causing him to fly into the alley's wall, blood flying everywhere.

Kagura stared in horror, her eyes straining to see through the dust and rubble hanging in the air. "Oi... OI! Sadist-freak! Kuso! You can't die that easily!" She dropped her umbrella and crept towards the wall, trying to find the body that should be at the base of the wall, but couldn't find it. '_Was he really that easy to get rid of?'_

Kagura stood in the alley, frustrated and alone. "Now who will I fight with?!" She screamed and would've continued until the wind was knocked out of her and she was slammed into the alley wall. When she felt something warm and wet trickle down her cheek, she opened her eyes, not even realizing that she had closed them. She was pinned to the wall, unable to move any part of her body.

"Heh, you can still fight with me." Kagura froze, the voice whispering in her ear surprising her. Her lips curled into a smile that almost immediately withered as the head that was connected to the body that was pinning her down lifted and hung inches away from her face. "What, happy to see me China-girl?"

Kagura eyed her umbrella, wondering if she could break free and reach it in time to kill the sadist-freak that was pinning her down. "Baka. Do you plan to steal my purity?" She brought her attention back to the teen that was pinning her down, his face seeming to inch closer.

"Why would I want to steal your purity?"

"Well, you could bleed all over me and give me SIDA." (A/N2: She means AIDS, which can be read as: Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome or Syndrome Immune Deficiency Acquired.)

Sougo raised his eyebrow, he was having trouble paying attention. He kept looking at the pale stretch of skin, looking like fresh snow, on Kagura's neck. It was lit so perfectly by the moonlight. '_I wonder if you can kill someone by sucking the life out of them...'_

Sougo leaned forward until his and Kagura's lips met. They were so warm, but his tasted sweet and salty. Kagura looked up to the sky, trying to distract herself from the boy leaning against her. She scanned the sky, and noticed a shadow crouching on the roof. '_Who is that? Oh! Wait, is that Megu-neechan? How long has she been here? Only one way to find out if it's her.'_

"MEGU-NEE!!" Kagura struggled with a renewed vigor, trying to get away from the Sadist-freak, feeling a strange twinge when his lips were no longer pressed to hers, "He's trying to steal my purity! Make the summer take him!"

Megumi leaped down to the alley, running over to Sougo and pulling him off of Kagura. He just stood, blood running down the left side of his face, staining his Shinsengumi uniform, looking dazed, his hand slowly lifting to his face. Megumi stopped fretting over Kagura just long enough to yell at Sougo, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! How dare you try to take her purity!"

"Why would I want the little bit of what's left of her nonexistant purity?" Sougo lowered his hand once he realized where it was and resumed the deadpan look on his face.

Megumi snorted, not having seen what just happened. "Kagura-chan, go home. If anyone else tries to take your purity, kick them in the places I taught you. If they're female then kick them everywhere, I'm sure they have their own undiscovered family jewels, afterwards kick them again. Now, SOUGO!"

Sougo was semi-startled but he barely showed it as he turned to the furious kunoichi, who grabbed him in a rather boyish headlock. "What do you want?"

"You're coming with me so that I can sneak away from Shi-chan..." Megumi then dragged Sougo up onto the roof, and in the opposite distance that the wannabe-samurai had gone. The only thing Kagura could hear as they sped off was Sougo complaining, "I wasn't molesting her, I was finding new ways to kill her. I read it in this incredibly boring wizard book."

Kagura just shook her head, picked up her dropped groceries, Jump, and umbrella, and walked off towards the Yorozuya (A/N2: And her precious sukonbu) humming a tune to herself.

"That's Harry Potter, fool! Are you a dementor now! Ohohoho, I don't think even they have someone even as half as sadistic as you on their team- oh, and Kagura, can you steal me the Jump comic after Gin-chan-sensei's done with it?- Anyways, you honestly think the gods would trust you with a sword, that personality, a bazooka, _and _a deadly kiss! There would be no point in deities if they wanted to devastate the world like that!" The ninja proceeded to grind her fist into the brunette's head.

Despite the pain from the noogie, Sougo held up his stoic composure. Only responding with partly muffled, "That hurts." As he rubbed the excess blood off his face once more. It was still bleeding.

"Good! Cause then I'd have no point in doing it!"

"Let go."

Megumi smirked, and ground her fist even harder against his skull. "I'm doing this until Shi-chan comes back, and the likelyhood of that is never! That samurai-wannabe is long gone!"

"... What are you doing, Cursed one?... And what do you mean _samurai-wannabe?_"

Megumi looked up from the sadistic boy to see the said samurai wannabe standing arms crossed as she raised an eyebrow at their position. Megumi's fist froze,

"Aww, -_bleep-!"_

Shiori smirked, obviously entertained by the kunoichi's anguish before turning back to the seemingly bored Shinsengumi member who was still trapped under the arm of his fellow classmate. "So what's going on?"

"She's torturing me, isn't it obvious?"

The corner of Shiori's mouth twitched, "Well, would you like to blow someone up, instead of being tortured?"

"Well, that's an ultimatum."

Megumi ground her fist one more time into Sougo's head, making him smother another burst '_Itai', "_Haha, you two are soooo funny."

"Well, now that you've finally realized how amazingly funny we are, can we go attack Hijikata-sensei."

Megumi frowned, now that things were going back to the original situation. "But I don't wanna. I want to read my mangas."

Shiori suppressed a complaint, she didn't really need the kunoichi but it would be nice to have her for her speed and other random ninja skills to help make the revenge even sweeter. "I'll buy you two copies of Jump after I kill Hijikata."

The bazooka user gave her a blank, almost cold stare, now that he was free from Megumi's grasps. "You won't be able to."

"What? The Jump? Yeah I can. They only cost 380 yen..."

"No, I mean Hijikata-bastard. You won't be able to kill him, because he'll already be dead."

Shiori looked confused for a minute, then a look of evil happiness slowly crept in. "Why, does he have some disease where worms bury into his brain and eat it, then all that's left is Hijikata-sensei Brain pudding?"

"Ohh! That sounds good, no wait..." Megumi started to look green by the time Sougo lazily walked up to Shiori, "Sadly enough, no. You won't be able to kill him. I'll kill him first."

Shiori eyed the boy up and down, "To kill him, you need to get close, and for that, you need stealth. Stealth is not bleeding all over him... Unless you want to give him AIDS and make him die of a cold that you give him..."

"I'll cut his head off."

"After I cut his arms off and make him punch himself to death."

"I'll curse him before you do that."

"I know how to make voodoo dolls."

"I'll slip lead into his mayonnaise."

Shiori and Sougo kept arguing, coming up with ways to kill Hijikata. Megumi was morbidly fascinated, and even though she wasn't that squeamish, she had to stifle the urge to gag from what Shiori and Sougo were arguing about who was going to kill Hijikata first and how. "So morbid..."

"After I've blown him up. Or I can make it look like he's commited seppuku. I'm sure that would make him happy."

"I'll hack him into 168 pieces with an airmailed Zanpakuto! I have a coupon!" Megumi added, feeling a bit left out.

Shiori eyed Sougo from the corner of her eye (while ignoring the lonely kunoichi) as she turned to Megumi, "Why would seppuku make him happy? That would just make him more dead and I wouldn't get my revenge."

Megumi rolled her eyes and quelched the urge to throw up, "Aren't samurai supposed to be honorable and noble and all that? Facing enemies directly instead of sneaking around like those _ninjas_. Oh, and if you want to kill him you better act now, you ninja-samurai wannabes."

Megumi turned and hopped up to the roof again, looking down at the alley when she reached the roof. '_I am never having any brown-haired friends again. They're all sadists. They should ban having brown hair... I see pink hair are in in a lot of the anime I watch...' _She mused, while imagining her friends with bubblegum hair.

Megumi started to walk along the roof, waiting for Sougo and Shiori to catch up, but she gave up and went faster when she heard "Fine. It's a bet. Whoever kills Hijikata first, wins."

"Ohhhhhhhhh lord."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

**Salty-Storm: Yay! Three reviews! One for each chapter... ish. But, Yay anyways! It makes me smile when I get reviews. oh, and I'm having fun sketching pics of Shiori and Megumi, so sooner or later there'll be a link on our profile so you guys can see 'em if you want... They're not amazing or anything, but they were fun to draw! This next part with Shiori and Sougo trying to kill Hijikata is going to be hilarious and entertain me to no end, If you have any ideas you want to see in the story, review them in!!**

_**Trufflemix: We keep saying to send more reviews, but who listens. TT-TT well, our pics are... definitely pictures so I guess you can look forward to that. And I'm telling you, we're not being modest. So now that Shiori and Sougo are having a kill Hijikata contest, how bored do you think Megumi'll be? Did you see his part with Kagura? We're die-fans of KaguraxSougo! So we already have one couple outta the bag! Ahaha, we're definitely gonna have fun with the next chapter! Keep reading! We'll do our best guys!! Thanks for reading up to this far!! **_

Translations:  
_kami: god  
urusai, kono bakayarou: shut up, you bastard_

_A germaphobe is someone who is afraid of germs. The dictionary term is mysophobia.  
If you don't understand a reference in here, remember google and wikipedia are your friends _


End file.
